NECESSARY LOSS...

YEAR TO DATE: MARCH 15,2010 -MARCH 15,2011

I was sitting in my brand new apartment. The first place on my own since my divorce. I laid in my bed that day and cried...I cried so hard that day. for 1. Because I missed my Daddy so BAD. I ached all over my body. I knew that no matter how much I longed for him. He would not be there to tell me his magical words "ABRACADABRA"..lol..yes he would actually say that when I thought my world was coming to and end...It was his way of saying that Baby, there really isn't no magic words. you just have to pick yourself up and keep moving til you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't see that light a year ago. 2. All of a sudden ALL of my friends including my best friend. was no where to be found. I was like am I about to go thru this alone. with no one to talk to. I was HURTING so bad. I needed someone to talk to. Someone to cry to. I wanted to have a Big Pity Party. There was no one there. I lost a friend 3. I had no desire to go in to work. I didn't even want to go to my own Boutique. I didn't want to do FASHION anymore. I didn't want to sew, look a FASHION magazines, or EVEN talk about FASHION. I lost my Boutique 4. I attached myself to all the wrong type of Men. Since my friends wasn't around.You know a man will be around. Cause they want something from you and since I was so vulnerable. I attracted the ones that played on my vurnablity. SMH...Bad Move. I lost all of those Men 5. I spent a ridiculous amount of money. Shopping made me feel good. To make me feel better on my supa lonely days. I shopped. I shopped alot. My apartment was Magnificent. My closet Sick. My shoe game  is DOPE. I lost my apartment and alot of my Money. . Now you wonder how is all of that NECESSARY LOSS....
                                                    *THE BOOK OF JOB*

I read that book in the bible. I have read it before but didn't understand it fully. You see JOB was a stand up type of guy and God love him most. But Satan came before God and said "Does JOB fear nothing? Have you not put on hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you." So the LORD said " Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger. JOB 1:8-12. Then I read further. Satan took everything as well as made him Ill. But Job didn't curse God. Since Job loved the lord with all of his heart and Proved to the Lord that no matter what he was going thru he was going to still worship and love his Heavenly Father. God Blessed That latter part of JOB's life more than the first. JOB 42:12. So I look at all of the things that I have LOSS over the years.I took noticed how Necessary it was for me to experienced that loss. 1. My daddy did die. I like to hope that the Lord had given him his mansion and His time was up. I needed to grow up,  Take the Life Lessons that my daddy taught me. Never give up on my dreams, Never settle for second best because I am number 1. always strive to be better. I'm stronger than I give my self credit. Look forward and never backward. 2. My friends are Human and they go thru the same Human experiences just different type of situations but they are all the same. Sometimes You have to walk alone in order to reach the Level of Godly Success. I got use to not always having someone to run to when things got bad. I ran to  My Lord. I don't feel so Lonely anymore. He sent special people in my life for this reason. To let me know that I wasn't forgotten. 3. He sent people to let me know how talented I was and that  My talent was need and useful. He opened Doors for me to Show my talent. 4. I did finally meet someone who is very special and they treated me like I wanted to be treated. They let me know that I am powerful and a shining STAR. They wasn't around long but he did show me that My HOPEFUL love is out there waiting on me. When he thinks I am truly ready to receive that Type of Love. It going to be so AWESOME. 5. He trusted me with a little money and yes I spent it recklessly. But I did do some wonderful things with alot of it to. So I planted good seed like JOB. and like he promised I will be taken care of. It might not be financial but that's OK. So you see some loss is necessary so that you can humble yourself. Prepare you for a greater Blessing. He even has you experience Loss just to test you to see if you was willing to lay it all down for his greater cause. So that he can place you  to do Something bigger. Bigger than you can ever imagine. No matter how down I get from being with out person,place or things. I will always Know that My Loss was Necessary for God Big Plan. What is for me is for Me and Not even Satan can have it.

Love,
Aquelle